Show Him You Have Class…Do This! | Relationship Advice for Woman by Mat Boggs
# Une histoire de classe et d’amour : Comment Mel a trouvé son homme
## Le pouvoir de la vérité et de la classe
So I got an email the other day from a client from a few years ago who had met her man, married him. I called her up and she was telling me the story. It blew my mind because what she demonstrated, I thought, was so classy, how she handled these moments. It was so powerful, so beautiful. I wanted to share it with you. Because, you see, I think one of the things that defines what it means to have class is being true to yourself, being willing to speak your truth when it’s not easy, when it’s inconvenient. And so let me share with you her story about how she met her man, how she manifested that relationship, and these pivotal moments along the way that helped her cultivate this incredible love story so that you, as you’re developing your relationship with your man or you’re attracting your man, you can see how these moments could apply to you in your own love life.
## La rencontre de Mel
So this woman’s name is Mel. She’s 42 years old. At this point in her life, she’s living in New Zealand, and she’s doing online dating. And the online dating is going a little bit not great, and she’s having some bad dates. In the program with me, she learns a few techniques that she decides to stay true to where she says, « Look, I have to have a phone call or a Zoom call with you before I’m gonna meet up with you. » And so she starts speaking her standards, speaking her truth. And a lot of guys didn’t like that. They were like, « I don’t want to deal with a Zoom call. » Like, « Let’s just meet up for coffee. » And if they weren’t willing to lean in to a Zoom call and at least accommodate that need that she has, then she wouldn’t meet with them. She goes, « It went from 30% good dates to 90% good dates. »
## L’évolution de la relation avec Chris
She was like, « I knew that if I had that Zoom call and it went well, that by the time we went out together, we were gonna have a great time. So I was dating all these guys, these were great dates, and then COVID hit, whoo, and we went on lockdown. During lockdown, online, I met a guy named Chris. And Chris was super funny. And we connected on all these different common interests. We started talking once a week. Then I invited him to game night, virtual game night with my friends. He vibed with my friends. We started talking every day. » And then after weeks, maybe it was a couple of months, the restrictions lifted and so they could actually meet. But it was that covid meet where people were wearing masks and you had to be social distance, remember? And so she goes, « We had our first meeting, » and she goes, « Matt, remember, I’ve only seen him here up. Well, he looks really good here up. » She goes, « I didn’t realize that he was literally 60 pounds overweight. So we meet at this park and he is so shy, he’s so awkward. He’s just looking down. » He is overweight. And she’s really fit. She’s really athletic. And she goes, « It was a horrible date. It wasn’t at all the vibe we had had online, but I had such a good time with him online. I thought, ‘Well, maybe he’s just a little bit awkward.’ A week later, we have another date, and the same thing. It’s awkward, it’s not good. » And so she tells him, « Look, » she speaks her truth. And she goes, « I don’t really feel the romantic chemistry, but I really enjoy hanging out with you as a friend. And so why don’t we develop the friendship? » And he said, « Okay. » Even though, of course, he had interest for her, he was willing to develop the friendship.
## L’importance de la vérité et de la communication
One particular week, he calls her up and says, « What are you doing? » And she says, « Well, I’m actually sanding and painting my banister. » He says, « Well, can I help you? ‘Cause I love DIY stuff. » And she goes, « Yeah, of course. » So he comes over and they do that project together and they have a blast. They like hang out all day, doing the sanding and painting thing and have a blast. She’s like coming up with DIY projects for him to do, for him to come over just so they can hang out. So they do that a couple of weeks. And then an opportunity to hang out on her father’s boat comes up. Her dad owns this boat and it’s a three-day trip. She says, « Hey, do you want to come with me? I know we’re just friends, but would you like to join? » And he says, « Of course. » So they go on this weekend trip with her father, and the way he just vibed with the family was really great. And she said she could feel herself. Well, consciously, he wasn’t the style, the body shape that she wanted. She felt her own body just being drawn to him. And she found moments where she was snuggling up on his shoulder and leaning into him as they’re watching the sunset. So her father on this boat ride pulls her to the side and says, « Hey, I see what you’re doing. You’re flirting with this guy. Don’t mess with him. He likes you, obviously, and here you are saying you just want to be friends, but you’re snuggling with him. » And she was like, « I know. I feel like I’m just so split. My head says no, my body’s just drawn to him. »
## Conclusion : Oser être vrai pour trouver l’amour
Two weeks later, she speaks her truth. And she says to Chris, « Hey, Chris, I just want you to know that while I really love our friendship, I’m feeling drawn to you. And there’s a part of me that really wants to know what it would be like to kiss you, but I’m afraid that we would screw up our friendship if it didn’t work out. And I want to know what you would suggest. » What a great move in this moment. Classy move. Speaking your truth. It takes vulnerability and courage to say, « Here’s what I want, but I’m afraid it’s gonna risk this other great thing that we have. » But guess what? The world belongs to the bold. You’ve gotta be willing to take bold action to have great results. Of course, Chris loved hearing this ’cause he liked her, and he was like, « Let’s go for it. Let’s just see what happens. » And so they kissed, and it was awesome. And like fireworks shot. Mel, at 42 years old, did not want to be somebody’s girlfriend. The next time she committed, she wanted to know it was gonna be like going somewhere long term. And so she tells Chris, she’s like, « Well, I’m open to dating you, but I want you to know I want to date other people as well. » Another moment of speaking your truth. When you’re dating, are you willing to say something that somebody else might not want to hear? Chris didn’t want to…
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