Communication Secrets That Will Blow Your Mind | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
# The Key to Thriving Relationships: Emotional Liberation
## Understanding the Importance of Communication in Relationships
Today I wanted to bring you a communication concept that is one of the most important communication concepts for thriving relationships. As you and I know, communication is the grease for relationships, it’s what allows it to flow, it’s what makes things easy and when communication breaks down, that’s what creates friction. Most fights, most disagreements come from some sort of communication breakdown, whether it’s no communication, miscommunication, or how we’re communicating actually gets in the way.
One of the best communication books I have ever read is « Nonviolent Communication, » by Marshall Rosenberg. In this book, he talks about a concept that can be a game-changer and is not easy to do, but when you ultimately execute it, it’s incredibly freeing and nurturing for the relationship.
## The Three Stages to Emotional Liberation
Marshall talks about three stages to get to what’s called emotional liberation. He explains that most people start out in emotional slavery, where they feel responsible for somebody else’s feelings. This feeling of responsibility for others’ emotions leads to stress and suffering when trying to control that which we cannot control – how somebody else feels. The first awareness is realizing that you actually do not have control over how somebody else feels; you can influence them, but only with their permission.
## From Emotional Slavery to Emotional Liberation
When people become aware of this for the first time, they often swing into the second stage, which Marshall calls obnoxiousness. In this stage, individuals feel liberated from the emotional slavery and may act in ways that disregard others’ feelings. However, to truly reach emotional liberation, one must take full responsibility for how they feel, their intentions, and their actions, while also offering compassion and understanding for how somebody else feels and seeking to get both their needs met.
## Applying Emotional Liberation in Real Life
For instance, if you find yourself feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings, instead of swinging into obnoxiousness, try to swing into emotional liberation. Honor how they feel, be compassionate, and seek for their needs to be met without taking on their emotions as your responsibility. Remember, you cannot control how somebody else feels, but you can control how you feel and act with love and intention.
So, where in your own life do you feel like you might be in emotional slavery? Reflect on this concept and consider how practicing emotional liberation can enhance your relationships and overall well-being.
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